Friendship: Intro

Hello my dear folks! Good news! As we speed through 2020, I am happy to share with you one of my resolutions for this year.

Aga Idczak

February 27, 2020

I  will be starting to write a series of blog posts. The first one, which I want to cover in the next few posts is on friendship. This series will be about building close and strong friendships, hopefully the ones that could last a lifetime. I hope to give you some tips on how to nurture yours.

I was asking myself where to start as many points would come to my mind when thinking of the topic. I have a few I would like to mention today, which I will be explaining in depth in the next few posts.  

The first important point for today: Our feeling that we need to be surrounded by others to not feel alone. I guess that many of us can relate to this statement. People add meaning and purpose to our lives. The gift of time does not have to be solely focused on a professional career or studies but it can also be used for resting, relaxing, “recharging your batteries” and finding the strength for daily life.

Each of us is different, I thought that I would categorise into two contrasting groups as follows:

a) Those who have the abilities to make friends easily. These people are often brave, gregarious and have the courage to be themselves and their genuineness paired with their natural charisma attracts others.

b) Those who have a shy, maybe even timid personality and struggle to put themselves “out there”. Even if they have a desire to meet new people, they hit some blockades which stop them from doing so.

It seems that I do not touch any new points here, we all know about different personalities. There are hundreds of articles available online regarding this topic, many testimonies of those willing to share their own experience. However, is this knowledge enough to help yourself and others? Unfortunately, knowledge and awareness of some truths are not enough if we do not start to apply them in life. If you do not go to the gym nor do any sport, you will not build muscle (even if you have a theoretical knowledge on how to do the exercises correctly), unless you are a bricklayer, for instance, so your profession is based on physical work. This is pretty clear and simple. Referring to knowledge and consciousness, if I do not start to practice them in life, or in relationships with others, I will not see the changes.

The next point, I would like to mention: Who do I surround myself with? Do people I am friends with have a good influence on me? How do you feel after seeing them? Does the faith in your strength, skills, new opportunities grow after meeting them? Or do you rather feel that your cup empties each time and all the positive thoughts, new ideas, hopes for your bright future disappear? Maybe you find out that your heart and mind is filled with so many doubts, negative emotions, discouragement?

Let’s move to the last point: Unfortunately, we cannot pour from an empty cup. I have always kept myself busy both mentally and physically. I have been happy to try new things by taking part in various activities, finding time to help others and being there for them when they needed someone but I was forgetting about myself and many times it was leading me to burnout. I was neglecting myself, my health and the people I cared about most. I had to challenge myself to be more assertive and learn to follow my priorities. It has still been a learning process on how to balance my life. It is so important to take time to get to know yourself well. It can be done by putting myself in new, sometimes uncomfortable situations which is an action of going out from my comfort zone. The next step is observing how we behave in particular situations, what are our strengths and weaknesses. This helps us to realise if we need to get some help, if so, what kind of help would it need to be. Do we need to ask someone to help us, or do we need to spend some time with ourselves and find a solution to this specific problem and take action in a particular aspect of life?

I hope that this wee introduction will encourage you to follow my next blog posts, which I will post soon. I believe that its content can be a crucial inspiration for those who want to make changes and maybe do not consider themselves as brave people or just feel alone, burned out and hurt again.
In conclusion: These are my views on the topic and it is completely subjective. All of us are unique and individual. We all deal with situations differently. Sometimes, someone you think is surrounded by friends can actually themselves feel so alone. On the other hand some people are comfortable with a small circle of friends. It is all they need. It is all they want. I feel the one key part to all of this is being surrounded by the correct people. People that lift you up, that elevate you. It is also so important to remember to be the person who will raise others up and help them to grow in life. Being more willing to give as opposed to just receive. It can add meaning to our lives and give us huge joy seeing others being and feeling happy.

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